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For My Boys

from A Landscape of Ghosts by Rob Siegel

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about

Mediations on growing up without a father.

lyrics

my father died when I was ten
it did not really hurt me then
like a stone I soon became
pummeled smooth by wind and rain
stumbled through those early years
a well of pain but dry of tears
the words nobody ever spoke
a dream from which I never quite awoke

so here I am washed on the beach
the perfect shell just out of reach
dad still waiting to be found
maybe here when I’m around
nearly fifty years away
flummoxed still on father’s day
by the neckties cards and things
oh the burned breakfast children bring

for my boys
I hope I taught you something
I hope I did the right thing
I hope I did ok

so I’m sorry if I was restrained
didn’t give a damn about soccer games
unlikely for a game of catch
a fundamental mismatch
of all the things that I should face
preoccupied by time and space
a world of almost endless need
men suck it up and women bleed

a friend of mine once said I should
admit I had a tough childhood
its hard for me to think that way
Jewish boys turn out ok
a mother who was nearly saint
I grew up without much complaint
sniffed my truth out on the ground
you learn not to miss what’s not around

it must be time to leave stage ten
attracted still to older men
a little late for surrogates
dancing in his silhouette
the figure high up on the ridge
the water washed away the bridge
I try I do the best I can
I hope that’s what it means to be a man

for my boys
I hope I taught you something
I hope I did the right thing
I hope you have no fear
you gotta know
I was short on examples
I was flying with a blindfold
but hey
I was here

credits

from A Landscape of Ghosts, released March 24, 2018
Guitar and vocal: Rob Siegel
Fiddle: Tim Roper
Upright bass: Peter Tillotson
Piano, acoustic slide guitar, and percussion: Doug Kwartler

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Rob Siegel Boston, Massachusetts

Rob Siegel is well-known in Boston folk music circles as an innovative songwriter who draws from his idyllic yet stressed- out middle-class suburban existence and produces memorable, intelligent, well-crafted songs.

His first new CD in 14 years, "A Landscape of Ghosts," will be out in April, with a CD release show at Club Passim on Monday April 30th.
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