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about

My then-42-year-old self running into my 21-year-old self. Triggered by visiting UMass Amherst after not having been there for many years, and imagining seeing myself catching a Frisbee by the pond outside the campus center.

lyrics

I met myself the other day
I recognized me right away
I was in my early 20s
I looked good
I was still in college at UMass
chasing girls and smoking grass
and figuring out how to stay another year

I looked myself right in the eye
one of me was good and high
I said oh lordie what happened to you
you used run that ragged edge
now you look like such a veg
I mean christ it looks like you own life insurance or something

I said lighten up I’ve still got the fire
I’m writing songs and squealing tires
I’m not pining for the way it used to be
I still satisfy my needs
but now I’ve got four mouths to feed
and when was the last time you washed those jeans

if I could meet myself as a young man
I’m not sure I could stand the smell
there ain’t no harm in looking backwards
there ain’t no shame in doing well

I said you’ve mean you’ve done that whole married bit
wife job house kids and all that shit
are you completely out of your mind?
I never could be a one woman man
I’m seeing three women right now
I said I know and if memory serves me right you’re about to get yourself into serious trouble

I said very soon you’ll find true love
you’ll come perilously close to screwing it up but trust me then you’ll have incredible sex for the next 20 years of your life
and you can be faithful I’ll show you how
which is why we’re having this conversation now
you arrogant insolent conceited self-absorbed little shit

why you pompous geezer windbag fart
who the hell do you think you are
I don’t want your damned hindsight
I don’t even want to grow up and be you
you sold out big and sold out fast
I’ll kick your geezer windbag ass
and well it all just kind of went downhill from there

I threw myself down on the ground
and I proceeded to try and pound
the crap out of myself while simultaneously trying to beat some sense into myself
but one of me was far too tired
and one of me was way too wired
so we called it a draw and agreed to go find a bar somewhere

I said nice car
I said thanks I always wanted one
I said I know

if I could meet myself as a young man
I guess we’d raise a little hell…

bartender would you please send
another round for me and my friend
we’ve got a lot of catching up to do
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been
focused balanced yang and yin
I like where I’ve wound up at 42

and you need to lay off that “sell out” stuff
maybe I ain’t sold out enough
do you know how hard it is to keep the faith
I’m still a registered democrat
I voted republican once and that
was for bill weld and he was running against that idiot John Silber so I think that was pretty defensible

man, you are such a bag of hot gas
admit it you wish you were me
unfettered by responsibility
you only like being 42 because you can’t be 21
and you need me here to play this part
chasing women so you don’t start
to regret all those crazy things you should’ve done

now about that woman of our dreams
what do you think about this scheme
we won’t be unfaithful if we both go home and uh check her out
nah I think that’d be a big mistake
the kids are probably still awake
besides I spent YEARS undoing the damage you did lay a finger on her and I’ll hit you so hard it’ll hurt me

and you know something I love women too
every bit as much as you
but this swagger of yours gets a little old
you blather on about running free but
well I was you and I remember clearly
the truth is most nights you slept alone

well that just hacked me right off and I had to buy myself numerous rounds of spirits and libations in an attempt to calm myself down
I tried to console myself but the truth was that in matters of both quality and quantity I was kicking my 21 year old butt I knew it and there was nothing I could do about it

if I could meet myself as a young man
some of those lies might ring a bell…

well I didn’t think that I’d be able
but I drank myself under the table
I’m glad that I can keep it up with age
‘cause I’m a kinder gentler Rob Siegel
all my vices are now legal
but my coffee intake concerns me deeply

so I called myself two cabs home
one to newton where I belong
and the other one back to 1978
I sure hope I grow up to be
the person that I saw in me
but if I didn’t grow up at all
that’d be great

I was pondering my mental health
after spending all night talking to myself
when a Harley pulled up
with an old guy on it
his hair was white as it could be
and he looked an awful lot like me
and he said
hey sonny
you got a minute?

if I could meet myself as an old man
oh the stories we could tell…

credits

from Voices From The Right Brain, released December 15, 2004

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Rob Siegel Boston, Massachusetts

Rob Siegel is well-known in Boston folk music circles as an innovative songwriter who draws from his idyllic yet stressed- out middle-class suburban existence and produces memorable, intelligent, well-crafted songs.

His first new CD in 14 years, "A Landscape of Ghosts," will be out in April, with a CD release show at Club Passim on Monday April 30th.
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