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Until I Scare Myself

from Shaker Chair by Rob Siegel

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about

Another of the tracks recorded earlier at Wellspring Sound with Erik Kilburn. Over time, songs vary in their importance to you. I remember when I was recording this that getting it right was the most important thing in my world, feeling that if people listened to the song, they would understand ME. Now, I hear a lyric like "there's an answer to your questions" and I cringe a little. Still, a marker of the "middle age" then that seems like youth now.

lyrics

middle class middle aged
middle of the road
mister wonder what they done to you
center right center stage
center can not hold
senses what they took away from you

I can tell just by your talking
I can see it in your eyes
no one lied
but no one told the truth
I can smell it in your destiny
I can find it out tonight
I can look until I scare myself
for you

tell me secrets tell me lies
tell me what you will
take me to the surface of my smile
moving pictures moving parts
never standing still
I wonder what’s gone all here all the while

there’s poetry emotion
a soliloquy of tears
there’s strangers in the shadows
that I knew
there’s time to find the answers
if you want to do it right
and look until I scare myself
for you

it’s still life with roses now
no matter where you turn
you can’t escape the boundaries
of your being
I spend too much time seeing things
evaporate from life
and staring as my television screams

there’s an answer to your questions
if you keep them to yourself
there’s a way out of these tunnels
that are you
if intransigent suggestions
become the relics of the fight
then I’ll look until I scare myself
for you

credits

from Shaker Chair, released June 1, 1999

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about

Rob Siegel Boston, Massachusetts

Rob Siegel is well-known in Boston folk music circles as an innovative songwriter who draws from his idyllic yet stressed- out middle-class suburban existence and produces memorable, intelligent, well-crafted songs.

His first new CD in 14 years, "A Landscape of Ghosts," will be out in April, with a CD release show at Club Passim on Monday April 30th.
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